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I'd Snark That ;)

I just need a place to put my thoughts.

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As of this moment in time (June 11, 2013), I am on summer break leading into my senior year of high school. That last year that every student yearns for when starting high school. I was that student who didn't ever want it to get here (I know, I'm so weird), but I'm ready to face it.

I'm afraid of it. "What if I'm not ready?" That thought crossed my mind so many times throughout high school, but that's what held me back. I spent 3 years finding myself and making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. If I could truly learn from my mistakes, doesn't that mean I'm ready? Of course.

Attending the first band camp of my summer, I began to really cherish the last times I would see some of my friends, but also, I celebrated that they were graduated and they were about to turn to a new page in their lives. They were moving on to things like college and going into basic training in the armed forces. I did cry, but not tears of sadness, but tears of happiness. All I can hope for is that next year when I attend these camps for the last time, that the people I've met will cry tears of joy for me. I want to know that somewhere, I meant something to them and I will always be there.

I've grown close to one of my newest friends from camp. This was his last year at this camp. He's an amazing guy. He's a happy and social kind of person who has a way of making everyone smile. He taught me how to two step (what Oklahoman doesn't know how to two step?) while at camp and the more I talk to him, the more I think I'm actually falling for him.

He's taught me the importance of waiting. I'm always that person who says "If it's important enough, you will wait for it". I'd never found anyone or anything that truly made me feel like there were any kind of meaning to these words. That is, until I met him.

He is one of my friends who is going into the armed forces. He visited me a few days ago and every time I looked at him or heard his voice or felt his hand on mine, I just felt like I was the only girl in the world. He makes my heart melt.

He told me last night that he really wants to be with me, but he wants to wait until I'm in college. I felt hurt at first by this, but after some thinking, I realized that he had the right thought put into this.

I thought there was no way in the world that I could wait that long. Then I realized, I'm not the only one waiting. He's waiting. I can still write to him while he's away and see him off when he leaves then welcome him home when he returns.

I realized that I could wait. For any other man, I probably would've cut the line and walked away. This one though, he's been in my head since I met him and my heart pounds when I think of him. I care for him and I want him to be happy because that's what everyone deserves in life. I've learned so much about him and it's made me a better and happier person in general.

I always thought patience was my strongest quality and it really is with the right person. I'm a person who believes in fairness. With this guy, I'm about to add a new chapter to my life. I'm going to need more support than usual from time to time juggling school, college/scholarship applications, auditions, and remembering to write regularly. I'm not his girlfriend, but I've still promised to support him from home.

I feel like I've babbled a bit, but I need to get this off my chest.

~Snarks
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